Knee Jerk and Kneeling More

He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, And he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city.
Proverbs 16:32 NKJV

Whenever I have a physical, there’s a test the doctor does that I kind of dread and kind of love, maybe you do to? It’s that weird reflex test where the doctor thumps your knee and your body just does what it does without asking you permission at all. No matter how much I might secretly will my leg NOT to jolt out when he taps my knee, it does. And man does it! I have good, healthy, reflexes! My knee gets thumped and my leg jerks out. Thump, Thump… Jerk, Jerk. Every. Time. It’s most definitely a classic and true “knee-jerk” reaction. I have literally no control over it.
The other day I thought of that phrase, “knee-jerk reaction” when, while driving by myself through downtown LA on the 5 freeway, a driver carelessly swerved into my lane nearly sideswiping my car. “What the heck?!” I angrily shouted, waving my hands indignantly at this neanderthal. One minute I was happily making my way to see family and the next I was a madwoman flailing around in a fuming fury. I did resist the urge to drive alongside him to see what kind of idiot drives like that…but man, I was so ticked! I could have been killed! But I wasn’t. I was fine, and when my pulse rate and temper started to calm down, my rational brain regained control.

One minute I was happily making my way to see family and the next I was a madwoman flailing around in a fuming fury.

I started thinking about how angry I had just been and wondered if something like that were to happen again, and likely it would, could I have better self-control? I became aware of my inability to rule my own spirit, to be slow to anger. Thump!…jerk!–Thump!…jerk!–Just like in the doctor’s office, only not my knee – my heart and mind.

And however justified I may have felt in that moment, I’m a spirit-filled woman whose big-picture purpose is to glorify God in every aspect of life. Flipping out angrily at knucklehead drivers doesn’t align with that purpose – so it’s got to go.

I may not be able to control the knee-jerk reactions of my legs during a physical, but one of the fruits of the spirit is “self-control.” I can surely submit this and other triggering situations to God and rehearse keeping my mouth and mind in check. I’ll save knee-jerk reactions for the doctor’s office and remember to kneel more in prayer for self-control.

Pray…“God, please help me not just behave well, but to keep my focus on the purpose of my life – to glorify you. Help me get out of the way of the Holy Spirit working in my life especially in moments when I am prone to react quickly out of anger. Amen.“

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