This has been a hard couple of weeks. I’ve felt sad, discouraged, even faint. I wish I could say I responded so perfectly, so calmly, so peacefully…but. I often found myself really low and doubtful. When you feel the anxiety – literally feel it like I do – where do you go for relief? When you know better but your feelings are overwhelming… When you find yourself spinning… What do you do? There’s something to be said about the habits we make. The priorities we set. The friends we surround ourselves with. That’s what has made all the difference. That why, tonight I can breathe and know that my faith is not anchored in feelings.
I looked at my calendar and felt the anxiety rising. But beyond the dates, the appointments, the past and the future the little boxes and numbers on my screen I knew. I knew that God had been there and would be there. So I breathed. These words snuck into my weary heart… Teach me. Teach me to number my days… So I might gain a heart of wisdom. That’s what I need. Peace, sure. Answers, that’d be nice. But wisdom. That’s what I really long for. And tonight I layed it down again – my burdens, my sadness, my will – and asked once again from the God who never shames or scolds – for wisdom.

I made a birthday wish for me and for you as well…